Hey up there, thanks for the chips!

There were so many talented folks in and out of the door at BJ105 when I worked there in the mid 80's.  One being Darrell Hammond who you know as being the longest running cast member of Saturday Night Live.  He was the very brilliant actor who could impersonate anyone.  Probably the most famous being President Bill Clinton.  However, it was Darrell's impression of everyday folks that was his best to those of us who loved him. When he would do the sales guy walking down the hallway...  it would just crack me up!!   It wasn't so much the way he did voices as much as it was about the hand gestures etc.  He was a dear friend of mine during that time as well.  A kindred spirit more than anything else.   He wrote a book about his childhood called, God If you're not up there, I'm F****d!   I have thanked God right out loud for this book.  I hope it will help keep Darrell sober because the world's a better place with him in it.  Learning to forgive is the key to healing and that is the essence of his story.  It is inspiring to anyone who has a family member or is struggling with addiction themselves.

Darrell Hammond on Crack, Cutting, and and vicious abuse by his mother: This is some book tour: VIDEO


One day back in the 80's  ... I had quit working at BJ105 and gone to work for Q96 a rock and roll station at the time.  I was DJing in the clubs, and had also landed a job at Sea World doing voice and production work.  From time to time I would get with Darrell and  we would go to lunch, coffee or an AA meeting, not necessarily in that order.

There we were sitting at a cool Orlando hotspot called Ronnie's and the subject of goals came up.  Darrell had the SNL goal set... but what was my goal?  I remember asking him what he thought I should do with my life one day...and he broke into a voice similar to that of Rocky Balboa.  "Yo, Um... Dis is God.... look at this"  he turns to the side of the table towards the isle where we had just walked in, as though welcoming someone new to the conversation.  "Elvis here's some charm" ... while he's doing this... he's handing out potato chips for each attribute that God gave Elvis. "Here is a nice smile, more charm for the ladies and a great voice ... throws 3 chips on the table... and says, "now get ya ass outta here huh!?" 

So, let's get this straight... Darrell is God... but God has Rocky's thick east coast accent... and God's giving Elvis all his coolness.  Right on.

God goes on to invite another person the table which is Marilyn Monroe. " Hey Marilyn, Ya sexy little vixen get over here and give your God Daddy a hug first...".  I'm sitting there with my mouth open watching this show wondering how the hell we got onto this topic of superstars and all that God gives them in this party of life... when Darrell's got a hand full of potato chips and letting Marilyn know she's got to be thankful for the body, the hair, the sweet smile.  All were potato chips... and he told her in Rocky's perfect voice.

"Yo... Here comes Madonna" .. He got out chips for everything!  Her Vogue Dance moves got a chip... coned breasts got one... and number one hits about 10 or 12 by that time...so  he counted out 10 or 12 chips and tossed them on the table.

He looks down the isle and once again, out of  nowhere, says,"Yo.... Here comes Crystal" in that Rocky Balboa God - Like voice.

He then just  picked up the bowl of potato chips and dumped the rest of them out on the table and said, "Whada ya good at? - You're f***ing kidding me right?"

Man I have thought about that day so many times over the past 30 years, and now I find myself trying to come up with a plan to save myself  from the financial ruin after choosing "radio" for a living.   Perhaps all of these radio stories I hear from my friends, and my own for that matter, need to come to life somehow.  There is something exciting about people who move from city to city and have these unusually deep voices, and intense personalities.    Yeah... A radio drama, about the drama in radio.